The Whatever Rule: a life-changing approach to 2018

In the words made famous by Doris Day, Que Sera Sera. Whatever will be will be. 

I started 2018 filled with anxiety.

Over the past six months I’d created a blog and a social enterprise – two big steps outside of my comfort zone.

Now I felt like the weight was on me to make each of them a ‘success’.  And, what I wasn’t telling anyone (even myself), was that deep down, I didn’t know that I could.

2018 had to be do or die. Success or failure. Joy or despair.

And the only outcome I could consider was success. Except the little voice inside was constantly saying “but what if you fail?”.

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Cold feet, warm beaches, fear and courage

“Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.” Abraham Lincoln

Cold feet. Of course I’ve heard of cold feet.

I know what it means. It’s backing away.

Like when you’re lying on the warm beach and go to get into the water, it’s too cold, and you step back. You want your feet back on the warm beach.

But I’ve learnt something new.

It’s not just a simile. It’s a real, physical thing.

For the first time in my life, I’ve felt it.

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What is the ‘dog that barks’ in your life?

‘You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks’.

I’ve always been a chaser of ‘shiney new things’. Not so much material things as new experiences,  opportunities and challenges.

’Never say no to an opportunity’, ‘Where there’s a will, there’s a way’, ‘If it matters, you’ll always find time’.

Those mantras have shaped my personal life: run a half marathon, then a marathon, more marathons, the New York Marathon, compete in the Coast to Coast. Volunteer once a week teaching yoga, then twice a week, then three times, then four…

Why wouldn’t I? I love it!

Work has been the same. Any good project, development opportunity, chance to do something different, I’ll take it. Especially any chance to do something good in the world.

‘Shiney new thing paradise’

My last role was ‘shiney new thing’ paradise – delivering social good, leadership development opportunities, interesting new projects all around me.

Why would I say no to any of it?

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Why would I want to get out of my comfort zone? 

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone – Neale Donald Walsch

Comfort Zone

  1. a situation where one feels safe or at ease.
  2. a settled method of working that requires little effort and yields only barely acceptable results.

 

Earlier this year I competed in the Coast to Coast — a 243 kilometre multi-sport race from Kumara Beach on the West of the South Island to New Brighton on the East Coast.

I’d agreed to do it about 10 months earlier, over a glass of wine with a friend. The next morning I wondered why.

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How to get free from the shackles of shame

“You either walk inside your story and own it, or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness” Dr. Brené Brown

I was eight when I started at my fourth primary school.

I wasn’t worried about fitting in or making friends. I was confident, chatty, adaptable.

Pretty soon I was friends with two sisters. They invited me to their home after school – a clear sign of firm friendship in my eight year old world.

A day or two later the bombshell came. My two new besties told me we couldn’t stay friends. Their parents had told them so.

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Turning ‘I can’t’ into ‘I can’

 Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t — you’re right. Henry Ford

I’m so proud!

I procrastinated on creating a website.

I hoped someone would come along to help (or do it for me).

I thought it would be too hard, too confusing, too technical, something I couldn’t do.

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